The Saga Begins

14 07 2009

Alright, I finally did it. I made a Blog and here it is….now what?
Hmm, I suppose I have to entertain you people who just so happened to stumble upon this little corner of the Internet. No doubt you were actually looking for what I would imagine was incredibly fast porn and accidentally found yourself stuck in here with me. Well you’re not going anywhere damn it, so you might as well listen. I don’t like it anymore than you do but would you rather be working? that’s what I thought.

So anyways, I’m sitting here at work pretending to busy and hungry so I think I’ll go grab my stash of eggos from the office fridge. Now let me tell you,  I want those eggos just as much as Brad Pitt wants his Nazi scalps but to my horror some tool has stolen them. Suddenly my mind is filled with flashing images like a Vietnam vet of some fat lard chasing down and molesting my precious eggos with his face. His pudgy hands barely even able to grasp due to their size and inherent greasiness. I can just see him gnawing away as my eggo screams for help…but no one answers. 

If only I had been there, if only I could have saved it. Like a green barrettI would have swooped in with a bayonet and the ensuing battle would have been worthy of recognition in the Jedi archives. And then with a final blow I would take my knife and I’d….I’d….Suddenly I snap out of my low-glucose induced day dream and realise that everyone in the office is staring at me. So, embarrassed, I quickly grab my cup of coffee and go sit down quietly.

Its gonna be a loooooong day.



2 responses

14 07 2009

You tell whoever took your waffles that I don’t like them and that you don’t like them either.

14 07 2009

I imagine they would have the blue berries smeared all around their mouth too because they would just be stuffing it in their mouth like a fatty would. They would also be struggling to breathe and making sounds reminiscent of those made by the Boomer on Left4Dead.

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